no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
