I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
All the doctor said was why
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
