My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
