Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
