In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
