If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the gays at disneyland are vicious
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She needs sedatives and a leash
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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