i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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