What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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