If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
