wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
