The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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