My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
