Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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