I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
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