i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
