The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
