I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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