i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
