Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
