I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
is it fun? or sober?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
