i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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