My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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