i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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