literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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