wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
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