he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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