you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
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