So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
