watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
What a dumb baby whore.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
