windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
