Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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