Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Randomize
