I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
