i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
