So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
