Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
