It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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