the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
