Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
