im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
How naked do you want me to be?
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