no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You have to summon your inner elephant
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
