im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Randomize
