i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
