do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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