remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
