Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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