What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
