Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
