I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
