what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
