We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
just come out here and I will go home with you...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
