Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
