he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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