WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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