I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize