Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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