I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
