If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
