I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
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