There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
