I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
