i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
