i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
