how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize